bah humbug?

stamping may not be my thing. it's messy. it is not for the perfectionist. ironically, i hand cut the letters, trying to go for a non perfectionist style since the card was so plain & simple, but the ink! the ink! everywhere! and i only stamped one thing! how does that happen? after one card, i gave up. it's ok. i only have one person in mind to send it to. (maybe, i'm still wondering if it's good enough)

i have been wanting to make this card for about 6 years now. sad, huh? but just like every holiday, the time goes so quickly, i never really got a chance to do it. so i found the snowflake rubber stamp in the dollar bin the other day and have been determined to try it ever since. i wanted to make the snowflake with my embossing powder, i had my heating gun ready. well, things don't always work out the way you want them to. i couldn't find the glittery powder! it's been so long since i've worked in my studio.but even just doing one card brought me so much joy!

it's kind of crazy thinking about technology. why send a card or call when i can text or email someone. and it seems the majority of people do not find this method impersonal at all. why call someone and ask them how they are doing when i can just login to facebook and voila! i see pictures and read updates. within a short period of time, i learn all about their current life. no need for that conversation anymore.

i used to take pride in my tradition of sending out christmas cards on the day after thanksgiving. each year my list grew and grew. i always wrote a personal message as well. for some reason, i became selfish. my disappointment grew and my gratitude decreased. my outgoing mail grew larger each year but my incoming mail got smaller. i also did not appreciate a simple signature on the card especially from those i hadn't talked to in a while. at one point, i felt many of the cards i received were just because i sent them one first. this is a terrible way of thinking and i am so very sorry (my perspective has changed by the way) but for a very long time i did not look forward to the holidays not just because of the card thing but i was tired of trying to please everyone. having to coordinate my schedule to accommodate my ex husband's family, my parents, and my brother with his apparent priority going to his wife's family. i selfishly got tired of buying gifts for others, carefully and thoughtfully selecting items for people who did not think the same for me. i would also buy gifts for others just so i didn't hurt their feelings when i gave gifts out to those who i actually wanted to give to. that need for being liked, accepted, blah blah blah, such a sad way to live. i used to tell myself that it was a good deed to give like i did. but in my heart it would hurt because they did not feel the same about me & again, the giving always outweighed the receiving. so every january, i would add up all of my receipts & ponder over the extra $1000+ i'd spent on others. sad, lonely and in debt. betcha didn't know i could be so narcissistic huh? so short story long.....i hated the holidays.

unfortunately, the holidays still don't excite me much. it's a work in progress. life during the holidays (actually all year long) is so much easier without the ex around. i can list all of the negative aspects about it, such as how horrible the traffic gets this time of year or how people become so rude & aggressive, and blah blah blah. but  today i finally bought a tree. my girls decorated it. i bought some presents & need to wrap them. i love love love wrapping presents by the way. i spent time in my studio and i made that card i have wanted to do for so long. i am spending a relaxing evening at home. i am appreciating many things right now instead of worrying about pleasing others or feeling like i am not turtlely enough for the turtle club.

next year i am going to disney world! it has been a dream of mine to go there for christmas and i plan to make it happen :)

thank you everyone and i hope you have a wonderful holiday!

visiting the past

a coworker discovered today that i want to be an artist when i grow up. as we talked, i ended up showing off some of my old work. i entered this drawing of "george's shoes" (george was a classmate) into the 34th annual student art show  and it won the award for drawing!!!
it was done in pen & ink. when i first looked at it today, all i could see were my mistakes and then i remembered how much fun i had doing it! talk about going into the right brain mode. it was fascinating! what's crazy is that i did this in 2005. that seems like a long time ago. i can't really explain the emotion this visit into my past created...regret? sadness? disappointment? regret and disappointment in myself for not following through with that dream. sadness for being so close to something i wanted so badly and then letting it go so easily! but i realized i really like this piece and i am very proud of myself! and i know the dream is still there. i don't think it's too late yet ;)

new york vacation

i really didn't want to come home and i have decided that i will take a vacation every 3 months. it is mandatory :) so i went to new york to attend a creative cursive writing workshop with one of my favorite bloggers: elvie studio. she is an amazing and talented woman!

my oldest daughter came with me and we stayed in manhatten. i had a great time!

day 1:
     *on the way to new york we had dinner at white castle in new jersey
     *checked in the hotel then got a salad from the fresh & co
     **received a 3 hr service in the middle of the night at a 24 hr spa in korea town (and it was awesome)

day 2:
     *watched the movie 12 years a slave at a loews/amc theatre in kips bay area
     *walked around k town then had lunch at seoul garden
     *did lots of walking
     **visited the MOMA
     *shopped at uni qlo
     *did more walking
     *ordered sandwiches from spreads & got dessert from pret a manger
     *ate & watched tv @ the hotel

day 3:
     **rode the subway by myself (spent extra 40 min cause i went the wrong way)
     **attended the workshop & had lunch at city diner on the upper west side
     *picked up some goodies from baked by melissa
     *with the help of a classmate, found my way back on the subway (thanks so much chi)
     *back to the hotel & rec'd surprise gifts from my daughter (she shopped & walked while i was away)
     *spent an hour online trying to find & decide on an italian restaurant
     **ate a fantabulous meal at trattoria
     *passed out (2 cosmos with dinner was probably too much, tee hee)

day 4:
     **walked back to k town, shopped and browsed then packed a lunch from the woorijip (awesome!)
     *picked up lunch from kyochon for my coworker/friend who graciously let us bum a ride to NY with him
                            (thanks so much darren!)
     *checked out of the hotel & ate our take out
     **walked to and around chelsea in search of banksy (ran out of time but did find one!)
     *got picked up by my friend & it was bye bye new york!

zentangle

another attempt at something new.
i attended an intro to zentangle class at the MOCA today. very interesting! i guess m.c. escher was already a pro at this stuff :)

supplies for class was provided in this cute little bag, i love surprises!

getting lost tangling :)

first tiles of all classmates

meet my new baby!

isn't he cute ^__^

this was my first attempt at wheel thrown pottery. my friend bought a kids wheel almost 10 years ago and we decided to give it a try since i happen to have a lump of clay in my studio of stuff that never gets used :)

it really was a lot of fun and i'm looking forward to taking a class and using a big girl wheel. i was simply trying to make a small bowl. i discovered that i really have heavy hands. there were a lot of "ah-ha" moments as my friend directed my actions like feeling the difference the water made or lack of it, and how the position of my hands made a different shape in the clay (using palms vs. fingers), etc.

now i must wait patiently as it dries. i think i'm going to use it as a ring/jewelry cup for my friend the chef to put near her kitchen sink. i don't think she has one yet and her birthday is coming up :)

art on the vine

a friend bought a groupon to this class for us.
the owner/artist at http://requisitesgallery.com/Home_Page.php takes photos and transfers the image to a canvas. she provides the acrylic paints and 2 hours of her space. it's a b.y.o.b. event too :)

those 2 hours went by at the speed of lightning! i really thought my picture would come out boring because i felt i was simply just coloring within the lines and it'd been about 10 years since i'd used acrylics. but before i knew it, i was adding ranges of values, trying to create chiaroscuro, i was changing the colors up a bit from the original photo source, etc. and then i realized it no longer mattered where the initial drawing came from. i kinda made it my own and i had so much fun! (and i didn't even bring the booze) tee hee

another lovely stampin' up day

i spent the evening with a friend i call the "stampin' up queen" http://stampingwithlisa.com/  she makes this stuff look so easy. if only i could buy everything in the catalog but i need to use the stuff i already own, right? i could have kept going on and on all night but unfortunately it's just an hour class. maybe one day i can talk her into a card making marathon, wouldn't that be awesome?  ^__^

i found the first card she ever made and she had a lot of the initial cards she made years ago. i thought they were cute and innocent. nothing fancy. she kept saying how much they sucked and how she was too embarrassed to give them to anyone. i laughed when i thought about it but i give away all of the cards i make and thought "should i be embarrassed too?". but then i said to myself, "heck no!" i make those cards with loving intentions, they mean a lot to me and i'm going to keep making them. i really enjoy it!

trying to awaken the child within

i seem to have a problem, i buy art supplies & stuff and never use them. for some reason i'm always attracted to those crayons every fall when all of the school supplies are displayed. i actually found 2 packs of the crayola 24s in my studio, never used of course.
i found that cute little book "32 ways to dress a piggy" in a store called franklin goose. (please don't mind the grease stain from the mary janes i added to the bag. by the way, i actually like bit-o-honey's better) anyway, all of those cute little books i have intimidate me. they are cute and "perfect" just the way they are, why would i make marks in them and mess them up? i feel the same way whenever i buy a neat notebook or cool composition book.
i am pleased with my little frogs, the pig's dress is really ugly and coloring the hello kitty was quite boring. i'm going to try again but maybe with pens instead. the crayons seemed different some how, probably not made the same as they were when i was little. i realized i probably need to be more adventurous and try something crazy with the boring hello kitty pages but i think i'm going to have fun with the doodle book   ^__^

i actually caught myself biting my lip as i colored. i think i even had my tongue sticking out the side at one point.

unfortunately, i'm one of those who "always" colors within the lines.

meanwhile, back in the studio.....

i seem to go through these phases where time just passes me by and it seems to go in full speed. i was thinking of times where i felt my day was longer or more fulfilling. usually those are days where i don't go in to my "day job". doing creative projects, reading, writing, or spending time outside always made my days feel longer, more relaxed, and more productive.

it's been a long time since i've worked in my studio. first thing i did today, cleaned and organized it. then i completed a project i've wanted to do for months. a good friend of mine recently became a grandmother and i wanted to make a gift. she has a great sense of humor so i hope she likes them.

i had the bright idea of using puffy paint. i don't like puffy paint :) it's difficult to work with. everytime i thought i had a smooth and steady hand, a puff of air would burst out and mess things up. maybe that's why it's called "puffy" paint, tee hee. but i must be maturing because i did not get frustrated. i just continued and got it done. i'm not sure what they will look like when they are dry.

i'm sitting in my studio now, my favorite room of the place. i'm really happy right now. i love having all of the messy and colorful paint spots on my hands and fingers. now i'm just wondering what i should do in here next.....

happy mommy's day!

i just received this card in the mail yesterday. it's the best! i am proud to have daughters who are all very artistic :) she's studying animal science and her self portrait is pretty awesome, she even included the missing tooth in the front :) happy mommy day to all the mothers out there!

i had to put it on the fridge of course

김 밥 (kim bap!)

anyong! this is one of my favorite korean dishes. i found a recipe on a website that used ground beef. silly me was amazed, i've always used ribeye for korean beef. i've only tried to make this once many years ago. this turned out really good. my tummy is very happy right now :)
here's the website: aeri's kitchen. i like how the author of this site adds in korean vocabulary to each of her posts. my favorite recipe from aeri is the tilapia with korean sauce. absolutely awesome!

sea weed, spinach, carrots, fried egg, marinated beef, pickled radish, sesame oil & of course rice

get ready to rollllllll!

i love the colors

yummy! i mean,  masheetdah!

"all children are artists."

"the problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up" -- pablo picasso

i had a meeting at work today and at the end we were given an activity to perform. i painted a flower pot and i had so much fun! i felt like i was in an elementary school art class! it was awesome!

is it spring yet?

i hope everyone had a fantabulous easter weekend!

creepy bunny and carrot cookies

the weather was good today despite the rain. i'm tired of the cold now and i'm ready for spring! i finally baked the cookies i want to send to my usual group for easter, so actually today was not a good day for the weather to warm up because i was hot in the kitchen all day! just my luck, huh?  i'm really glad i never wanted to be a pastry chef. maybe i don't have the patience. but oh well, i still have lots of fun making them. the cookies in the picture are the best ones out of the group, tee hee. by the looks of them, you wouldn't think i actually know how to draw. besides lack of patience, maybe i'm a little lazy too ^_^

a little sunday fun

i really enjoy making these name tags for gifts. 

it's funny how i can look at those cards and see all of my mistakes and imperfections. i'm always complaining that i'm not creative enough. i just need to practice. i have so many books on being creative (and no, i haven't finished any of them yet). i finally realized that it's not that i'm not creative, i don't practice! i give up and i don't allow myself to make mistakes.

i need to correct my vision. there was a time where i did art full time and i was able to see differently. i was always seeing spatial relationships, colors, tonal values, negative space, etc. i don't know when i lost it but i really want to find it again. i miss it. i think it came before because i was always drawing, i was engaged and passionate about it so i guess it was natural. it's like riding a bike, right? :)

stampin' up again

i went to another technique class given by my stampin' up diva friend lisa. http://stampingwithlisa.com/
it was suppose to be a one hour class but before i knew it, 1 1/2 hours flew by. don't you just love how you lose track of time when your brain goes into right sided mode? i know i do. she let me make my cover page for the book too. i tried to show off my lettering skills :) i still need more practice! i'm just excited she had a hummingbird stamp, i love hummingbirds! i've written my list of cards to make. i'm a little behind with my thank you's and i have a wedding and baby shower coming up soon. so i better get busy!

simple pleasure to self analysis, huh?

one of my friends just took a leap of faith & is now a mary kay consultant. i ordered a stamper for her with her name, website and phone number(as a surprise gift) and thanks to one of my favorite blogger friends, i have discovered a new way to wrap gifts. http://elviestudio.blogspot.com/ initially i felt weird copying her idea but i am one of her devoted disciples in the letter lab :) thank you lori!

there is an art competition coming up for d'art center and today was the deadline for entering. i thought about it, got excited, thought about it some more, procrastinated, thought again, and then finally gave up on the idea (my usual routine). but for some reason, when i got up this morning, i told myself "why not, what's there to lose (besides the entry fee)". so i rushed and delivered my entry in person. unfortunately, i was confident enough to submit only one painting even tho the charge covered up to five. after i dropped it off my mind went on this analytical trip....i think i put the wrong year it was done on the form, i should have used my real name instead of my future name (i plan to change once i get divorced), i should have omitted the frame around the painting in the photo i had to submit, i'm not a professional artist, should i have wasted that $30, what if they do accept my entry, should i just forget about it and wait to see what happens or should i dream it, believe it, and own it......blah blah blah blah blah! ugh! what's wrong with me? i am excited. it's the same excitement i had doing that gift for my friend and creating that name tag. anything i do that has anything to do with art, creativity, writing, taking photos, even giving gifts gets me excited. and it's a great feeling :)

it's my birthday :)

i've always wanted a chalkboard in my kitchen, now i have one

 i took a 5 day weekend from work for my birthday but the days are going too fast! i just wanted to take one of those "stay cations". just stay at home, relax, and do nothing. but it seems i keep finding things to do! sheesh! so i am another year older (and wiser). i have so many things i want to do but i am tired of writing about them instead of writing about actually getting those things done. it's a good feeling to cross things off of to do lists. it's a good feeling to feel productive and i love those days where i've done so much and didn't realize how much time had past. one of my dreams is to one day not have to ever care about the time. it's a fantasy of mine, to be able to go to sleep and wake up whenever i feel like it. work and play all day and just be totally carefree. kinda weird, huh? of course i'd have to be self employed or a lottery winner. don't think any boss would like me to just show up whenever i felt like it.

i know valentine's day has past but i had to get my treats done for my nephew and daughters. i found the sugar cookie & royal icing recipes here:
http://www.browneyedbaker.com/2011/02/14/conversation-heart-sugar-cookies/
mine look nothing like hers but i had a lot of fun. i also made chocolate fudge and rice krispies treats in heart shapes last week. i just hope they don't become stale before they open their packages.

sugar cookie conversation hearts

they look ok, i haven't tasted them yet but i've wanted to bake these for years now 

happy new year..belated :)

i usually write a list of resolutions every year but didn't feel like this year. it always says the same thing.  i didn't want to set up a list of regrets or failures, again. but as i was thinking last night, i realized, i need a symbolic moment to kick start a few needed changes. i spent a lot of time in the kitchen today and i ended up making rice cake soup to celebrate the new year.

bulgogi, rice, kimchi, and rice cake soup. rice cake soup is the traditional new year's day meal in korea

look what i found at trader joes! not too bad, a little on the sour side

strawberry pie, my daughter asked so mommy made it. just add cool whip on top, yum yum

it snowed yesterday! baxter was a little confused, searched to find that perfect poop spot

not much snow but still beautiful, sometimes this is as good as it gets around here

well, here are my plans for a happy 2013:
         1. i entered the get fit challenge at work, so far only lost 5 pounds, and i joined a gym but i'm not disciplined yet. i was able to stop drinking soda, however, i gave in and enjoyed my cherry cokes yesterday and today. i've also been writing down everything i eat, trying to stay within 1500 cal a day (i use to eat that much in one meal). my goal is to lose no more than 25 to 30 pounds but more importantly i want to maintain a healthier lifestyle (so cliche' isn't it). not sure how this is going to work. i'm always hungry!
         2. my ultimate dream is to do something creative at least once a day. it always makes me happy. i still don't understand why i avoid it sometimes. i decided to start reading drawing on the right side of the brain again. i've picked it up more than once but never finished it. so i have decided to try and establish a routine, if i can at least sketch or doodle once a day, that would be great.
         3. finally, i have 2 bad habits i want to stop: hitting the snooze button in the morning and never finishing what i've started, especially reading books (i have over 15 books i've started but never finish).

i hope everyone is having a great start to their new year. it is exciting to imagine all of the great possibilities!