the end of june

i can't believe it's here already! i feel like screaming "wait a minute...i'm not done yet!".

yesterday's lunch

another bento! i tried to make it an italian themed meal. tortellini with roasted red pepper on toothpicks; caprese salad made of mini mozzarella flowers, sweet cherry tomatoes & basil from my new basil plant outside in my flowerbed; i rolled up slices of pepperoni and salami and cut them into bite size pieces. there's marinara sauce in the little bear container and i added some sesame bread sticks, too. this hello kitty box is my first bento box, a good friend ordered it for me and surprised me with it :) i really enjoy making these bento boxes & i don't know if i've already mentioned this but i think i enjoy it more when i make it for someone else and give it away for the person to enjoy. is that strange?

so june is almost over already. on another post i made a list of goals for the month of june...well, i still have a little time left. i hardly ever got out of bed at 7am. i started reading a new book. i didn't exactly create something daily. and when i tried to take the girls somewhere, they had other plans. oh, and i think i gained 5 pounds instead of losing it. (he he) but, i no longer care to focus on what i didn't do, i will focus on what i accomplished this month. so, i read somewhere that if things on your "to do" list keep staying on that list or back on a new list then maybe they were never very important to get done in the first place. so i need to check my priorities. i keep thinking about art. i keep dreaming about the work i want to do. i go into my studio & turn back around. is it fear? i'm trying to figure it out. ralph marston posted "get yourself interested" on his daily motivator website yesterday. just the first statement says "the way to get good is to get interested. the way to get great is to get downright fascinated & passionate". once i start i can't and don't want to stop, getting started is my problem. too much unnecessary nonsense on my mind. this month has really been an emotional roller coaster.

what in the world?

this has been a week of "what in the worlds". the hubby decided he wanted to come home after a 3 week separation (what in the world?). actually, it was a modified separation. he didn't go far & he still came over to cut the grass, etc. people are really strange sometimes. i know i'm strange, always have been & always will be! at least i know it & not in denial about it! :P

for as long as i can remember, i've never wanted to be like anyone else. i don't want to wear the same clothes everyone else is wearing. i don't want to be "in style". i'm motivated to prove people wrong. with my first child, i was told i ruined my life. when i got married there was gossip that it wouldn't last. when i went to nursing school, i was laughed at, people thought i was too timid, that i couldn't handle it, that i was too stuck up, etc. well...(what in the world?) i was determined to prove all of them wrong. i finished high school & graduated college. out of my LPN class, most of my classmates were working in doctor's offices. the ones who worked in the hospital only did it for a very short period of time. those are the ones who expected i would end up in an office & not be a "real" nurse. i ended up becoming a critical care nurse & was determined to prove that i could handle anything! so with the marriage, i really don't want to join the statistical divorce rates, etc. (what in the world?)

so why can't i apply that motivation to my art? who told me artists can't make a decent living? who told me i wasn't good enough? who told me i didn't have what it takes to make it in the art world? well...maybe that's the problem. no one ever told me those things. i think i told them to myself. again, i'm motivated to prove other people wrong. what in the world? i am definitely my worst critic!

these days have gone by so quickly. i had every intention to paint something small, like an apple. i even bought some small canvases. i haven't even done a bento box lately. i worked a 5 day stretch, had yesterday off but yesterday, what in the world. what happened to yesterday? i am off tomorrow. yes! i plan to make the most out of my day. i did get a new desk, i put it in my studio. i cleaned my studio up a bit to make room for it. i think my studio is my favorite room in the house. it was originally the dining room. now it's my room! i took that room about 3 or 4 years ago. don't you think it's time i put it to use? hopefully i'll spend some time in there tomorrow & have a beautiful creation to share with everyone. i wanted to do this blog to make myself have some accountability & get me motivated to do something creative on a daily basis. maybe i should be making promises. maybe i should promise to paint a picture to share on june 9th with my readers...whoever you are :)

photos in the hall...finally!

it really feels good to accomplish something that was on my list of things to do, especially when it's been on that list for a very long time! i almost gave up too. some of the frames were cheapie ones & were difficult to get them flat to the wall. AND what a terrible idea for someone who is borderline OCD!!! it is going to drive me crazy keeping them straight. it's already bothering me that one frame is down too low & another is up a little too high! it's ok. i'm just really happy i got it done! i downsized it to only 15 frames but i still only have 8 pictures, just need 7 more.

so i got to engage in the creative process today (technically yesterday since it's after midnight now). i laid all the frames out on the floor first and decided what went where. i had to figure out exactly where to put the nails. i really did almost give up. i'm really glad i didn't. that's one thing i know, if i keep working at something it usually turns out pretty good. i'm always disappointed in myself when i do quit or give up on a project because i know i can do better.
ok...so what's next? what else have i procrastinated doing over the years? maybe i'll paint something. i've been wanting to do a portrait of baxter for a long time.