Saturday, December 21, 2013

bah humbug?

stamping may not be my thing. it's messy. it is not for the perfectionist. ironically, i hand cut the letters, trying to go for a non perfectionist style since the card was so plain & simple, but the ink! the ink! everywhere! and i only stamped one thing! how does that happen? after one card, i gave up. it's ok. i only have one person in mind to send it to. (maybe, i'm still wondering if it's good enough)

i have been wanting to make this card for about 6 years now. sad, huh? but just like every holiday, the time goes so quickly, i never really got a chance to do it. so i found the snowflake rubber stamp in the dollar bin the other day and have been determined to try it ever since. i wanted to make the snowflake with my embossing powder, i had my heating gun ready. well, things don't always work out the way you want them to. i couldn't find the glittery powder! it's been so long since i've worked in my studio.but even just doing one card brought me so much joy!

it's kind of crazy thinking about technology. why send a card or call when i can text or email someone. and it seems the majority of people do not find this method impersonal at all. why call someone and ask them how they are doing when i can just login to facebook and voila! i see pictures and read updates. within a short period of time, i learn all about their current life. no need for that conversation anymore.

i used to take pride in my tradition of sending out christmas cards on the day after thanksgiving. each year my list grew and grew. i always wrote a personal message as well. for some reason, i became selfish. my disappointment grew and my gratitude decreased. my outgoing mail grew larger each year but my incoming mail got smaller. i also did not appreciate a simple signature on the card especially from those i hadn't talked to in a while. at one point, i felt many of the cards i received were just because i sent them one first. this is a terrible way of thinking and i am so very sorry (my perspective has changed by the way) but for a very long time i did not look forward to the holidays not just because of the card thing but i was tired of trying to please everyone. having to coordinate my schedule to accommodate my ex husband's family, my parents, and my brother with his apparent priority going to his wife's family. i selfishly got tired of buying gifts for others, carefully and thoughtfully selecting items for people who did not think the same for me. i would also buy gifts for others just so i didn't hurt their feelings when i gave gifts out to those who i actually wanted to give to. that need for being liked, accepted, blah blah blah, such a sad way to live. i used to tell myself that it was a good deed to give like i did. but in my heart it would hurt because they did not feel the same about me & again, the giving always outweighed the receiving. so every january, i would add up all of my receipts & ponder over the extra $1000+ i'd spent on others. sad, lonely and in debt. betcha didn't know i could be so narcissistic huh? so short story long.....i hated the holidays.

unfortunately, the holidays still don't excite me much. it's a work in progress. life during the holidays (actually all year long) is so much easier without the ex around. i can list all of the negative aspects about it, such as how horrible the traffic gets this time of year or how people become so rude & aggressive, and blah blah blah. but  today i finally bought a tree. my girls decorated it. i bought some presents & need to wrap them. i love love love wrapping presents by the way. i spent time in my studio and i made that card i have wanted to do for so long. i am spending a relaxing evening at home. i am appreciating many things right now instead of worrying about pleasing others or feeling like i am not turtlely enough for the turtle club.

next year i am going to disney world! it has been a dream of mine to go there for christmas and i plan to make it happen :)

thank you everyone and i hope you have a wonderful holiday!

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for visiting...I actually like your card, must keep it in mind for next year. Oh I get caught up in Christmas....still love pulling out my Christmas decorations and making the cards. My husband, not so much. But there is just the two of us with no kids....It's all about the kids and for the kids. I think in the hustle bustle of Christmas the true meaning has gotten lost, it should be all about Jesus, and remembering him even though it's not really his Birthday. I just heard the other day that some group wants to try and eliminate Christmas every year....don't think that will fly, cause the stores would loose alot of business.

    Hahaha...the ink, the ink...gets all over, I know, just like painting too. Can't seem to paint without getting paint on my hands or clothes or woodwork....such a mess.

    We are supposed to be getting a big snow storm tonight and tomorrow...6-10 inches. I am actually hoping it keeps us home from church which is 16 miles away. Would rather not travel in all that snow. Well you have a great Christmas, oh and next year should be awesome going to Disney World, nice goal to have.