what have i been up to lately?

well...
i think i have officially turned into a couch potato! i should probably be too embarrassed to admit this. but in the last 2 1/2 months i have watched 10 different korean dramas! each one is at least 16 one hour episodes, some were 20 and one of my favorites actually had 30 episodes! that is a lot of tv time. one thing about these shows, they are in korean of course so i have to stay glued to the tv to read the subtitles! they are addicting!

scent of a woman---my favorite! i have a crush on lee dong-wook

bread, love, and dreams---another favorite

you're beautiful---this was my 1st and is one of my favorites

these are the other ones i've watched:

     * secret garden

     * lie to me

     * spring waltz

     * pasta

     * shining inheritance

     * stars falling from the sky

     * full house

now i may be going through a little withdrawl and i'm trying hard not to search for another one to start. i have also spent the last few months trying to learn korean. it's actually a lot of fun but i guess now i'm also confessing to being a nerd. i study korean for fun! tee hee  i really have fun writing the hangul characters and i can actually read a lot of it. if only i knew what it meant :)  but in time, i'm sure i will improve.

still experimenting & happy stuff

not too pretty but it's a start

one of my goals in life is to do visual journaling. i have always loved to see drawings done in ink and watercolor. well, i found a blog where her lettering and drawings are wonderful! http://elviestudio.blogspot.com/  so i signed up for one of her online classes, "letter lab". there's a thing i do in my composition notebooks where i list "happy stuff" on random days. i try to write the title "happy stuff" with different designs or in a different lettering style. my creativity in this department goes only so far. i thought this class would be good for me and i was right. i went out and bought some watercolor pencils, a watercolor brush that you actually put water in the handle, and a small multi media book. i need to practice, practice, and practice more! the watercolor thing is still new to me and proving to be a little more difficult than i want it to be.

as i was looking through my current composition book, i realized i haven't been writing my happy lists. i started doing them to be mindful of what i have to be grateful for and to force myself to find things to appreciate even on those mediocre days.

on sept 26th i planned to do one of those photo an hour days but that didn't happen. i did make some yummy korean food. i tried to eat the noodles with those chop sticks, ugh so sad. it makes me a little embarrassed that i'm asian and can't do it.

today's happy stuff:
     *  passing ACLS re certification class
     *  getting a free lunch during that class
     *  a quiet, relaxing saturday evening at home
     *  the awesome smell of washing a load of laundry
     *  being on the phone with my oldest while she explored the new fresh market store in her neighborhood,
she was having too much fun in there :)

jap chae; bean sprouts; kimchi; cucumber kimchi, & white rice!

finding happiness

i love seeing pictures of random things that look like a happy face formed. like when you can see a face in a potato chip or a smile in some floral arrangement.

i realize that as i walk in my neighborhood i spend most of the time looking at my feet. some of the sidewalks are made of brick and a lot of the walk is uneven due to tree roots and what not. so since i am accident prone, i guess i want to make sure i don't fall. however, i miss out on the beauty around me and i think i miss out on opportunities to see a smiley face in a random area.

not too long ago i wanted to make mashed potatoes so i peeled some potatoes and voila! a happy face appeared in the peel stuck to the inside of the trash can.
maybe i'm being silly, but it made me happy :)

do you see it too?

oops i did it again...

(in my brittany spears voice)
oh baby, baby
i tried something else new!
watercolors!

unfinished and messy 

i signed up for a weekend class at the richmond visual arts center called "crashcourse in watercolors". christopher wynn was the instructor. http://www.wynncreative.com/wynncreative/Home.html
he is featured in the summer issue of the american artist watercolor magazine. i love that he quit his job and sold everything he owned to travel for almost a year. what a great thing to do in life. there's so much to see out there. anyway, he made a joke in class of how i planned to go back to oil painting after class was over. it is a difficult medium to work with. when i started i attacked the paper as if i was painting with oils. big mistake! i wish i'd taken a picture of the first attempt. i was able to recover somewhat. but when i say i overworked that paper, i overworked it! i didn't finish this piece, don't know if i will. but i do have some expensive watercolor paper left so i will try again.

it was a fun class. a little rushed. but it was called "crash course" right? i actually learned a lot! i love seeing journals and sketchbooks with little watercolor drawings in them. i'm really happy i finally tried it. i bought some cheap brushes so it was frustrating seeing so many little brush hairs all over my painting.

so as i was getting in my car once class was finished, i realized i had my camera with me and regret that i didn't ask to take a picture with mr. wynn. i've never met an artist who was featured in a magazine before. i tried to find that issue in the barnes & noble there but couldn't find it. i could have asked for his autograph :)

so what will i try next? i've never done ceramics or sculpture. we shall see. i've decided not to take classes at the university this semester. my student loans are outrageous already. i don't need to add more to it right now. but i will continue to learn and experiment and practice and stay involved somehow. so for the upcoming fall and winter, i will:
     -sign up for another artistic crash course or workshop
     -visit a local drawing group meeting & maybe join them
          i know of 2 in the area that meets every tuesday
     -finish the sewing projects i wanted to do, especially the apron
     -take lots of pictures of baxter to use as a subject for my next oil painting
     -and paint that picture of baxter!

tried something new

i signed up for a screen printing class taught online by an artist who's blog  i found http://www.howtomakeart.com/
the art of screen printing is new to me. it was fun and messy :)
i think i have an issue with not wanting to be wasteful. so if i'm not confident with what i want to create, i avoid it because if i mess up, that's wasted ink, paper, paint, etc. so instead, my art supplies sit and collect dust ??? crazy isn't it? screen printing might be good therapy for me, there is a lot of trial and error in the process.
well, at least i've always wanted to make my own tshirts and now i can say i made one!

my dc adventure

national zoo, washington dc

one thing i'm guilty of is not following through with going to places and events. i mark them in my calendar with intention but usually mark it out later because i didn't go for one reason or another. well, i should say excuse. but this time, i made myself do it and i took a day trip to washington d.c. i found out art o mat was having their 15th anniversary there so i decided to go. here's the link to their website:
http://www.artomat.org/home.html
i submitted something to them almost 10 years ago. it was graciously declined. i realize now i didn't do very good selling myself. i sent them samples of rothko type pieces or should i say blocks of color. i didn't add anything to it. a concept was missing. i should have created some form of experience or emotion or something, anything. i simply painted boring mini paintings. i didn't even consider the packaging. sometimes the packaging is better than what's inside. they have so many artists now. i love love love the old cigarette machines. i meant to ask if the creator, clark whittington was there, i probably stood right next to him and didn't know it. oh well. the next one will be in 5 years. maybe i will see him then.

so below are some of my favorite residents of the zoo.

lonely octopus

cute little critters

didn't realize how ginormous these things can get. they walk like it hurts to move

the star of the zoo; sorry, forgot to find out who this was. mei xiang or tian tian? 

a hot saturday afternoon is probably not the best time to go to the national zoo. we got to do a lot of walking so by the time we got to the smithsonian, i was a sweaty mess. they held the swap meet in the american art museum. of all the places at the national mall, that is the one i just visited last year. so i didn't spend too much time there. i did see the video game exhibit. it's amazing how video games have evolved in the last 3 decades. and i got to play the biggest pac man ever!

once we left the museum, we went up a few blocks to ping pong dim sum. whenever visiting d.c. i have to either go to ping pong or to pret a manger, or both :)  oh how i love to eat good food.

yesterday was a great day. i got to spend it with my girls, well 2 out of 3 of them. we ended up shopping at ikea, which was about 30 min away. before heading home, we ate yummy bbq at famous daves. i've already searched for local art events & they are marked in my calendar. no more excuses. i have fun meeting with other artists and seeing the people who show interest in them.

art o mat 15th anniversary swap meet

courtesy of one of the awesome artists at the swap meet

smithsonian american art museum --- the art of video games

perfect reason to drive 3 1/2 hours away; yummy dim sum

one of my favorite stores; now i'm part of their family!

hiking is for the birds...i wish i was a bird that day

the cascades, somewhere near Virginia Tech University

went on a hike and thought i was going to die! it was a 2 mile trail on rocks and dirt requiring stepping over other rocks and tree branches, etc. up and down. down and up. some slippery close calls and lots of sweat! it was pretty awesome. we chose the more scenic trail but i was too busy watching my step! my heart was racing. i was short of breath. i wanted to be a bird so i could spread my wings and fly :) once i got to the rock that had an engraving letting me know i only had 1/4 mile to go, i really didn't think i could do it. i was so exhausted. but to my surprise, it actually got easier. the trail didn't get any easier, my tolerance improved. my breathing was better, i don't know, i was just more comfortable. it was a great accomplishment! it was funny when i saw i was almost there, i slipped and fell right on my butt. my butt didn't hurt but the next day, my ankles, knees, hips, shins, and calves were sooooooo sore and achy! we took the alternate route away from the falls, apparently it was all incline on this one because it was basically a flat decline all the way back. actually a big relief, don't know if i could have tolerated another hike like the first 2 miles :)

i still can't believe i did it! look at that trail! crazy!

absolutely beautiful

virginia tech

my daughter, the middle child, will be starting virginia tech in the fall studying animal science. she wants to be a veterinarian when she grows up and we took this road trip for her orientation. the parents were invited to stay in one of the dorms (not for free of course). i've never lived in a dorm before and always wondered if i missed out on something in my younger years. no big deal. of course the experience of one night as an adult will never compare to a youngin's first adventure away from home :)

so if "go on a hike" was on my bucket list, i could mark that one off now (don't think it is tho). but i did it and i am happy about it!

stampin' up

a few weeks ago i took a techniques class under a stampin' up guru :) http://stampingwithlisa.com/
i think she owns every product the company ever made! as you already know, i love making my own cards so i had a lot of fun.

self analysis

i'd been thinking a lot lately. probably not a good thing. it's funny how the mind works sometimes. initially i was all excited about my future, coming up with ideas and new dreams. then i found myself in a "funk". wondering what i have a passion for. wondering what my niche would be. wondering, wondering, wondering. i started thinking that "real" artists have a passion for something. they have a purpose, a story to tell, a point to make, some political or religious awareness to convey, a reaction to some current event or tragedy.  all of which i don't have. i realized i was comparing myself to other artists, to some "ideal" artist, that image of what a real artist is suppose to be, you know?

well, i'm glad i stopped that nonsense. i reminded myself that i am an artist. i may not be where i want to be but what am i doing about it? maybe that's what started all this thinking. guilt. the guilt i feel when i don't draw or paint when i want to. i always stop myself & i don't understand it. always making excuses. i guess it's like someone wanting to run a marathon but never even ran a mile. how will i ever get myself prepared for that "marathon" if i don't even take a walk everyday?

i had a goal to do at least one drawing a day. but another analysis of myself, i never seem to finish a drawing completely. when i was taking that drawing class last semester i did learn this about myself & realized that i don't put enough time into it. tonight i decided to do some nude poses with graphite on paper. i ended up sketching again. i only did 2 of them with intentions of "completing" them. adding all the values and shadows, actually making a composition out of it but i didn't feel like it. i didn't know where to go with it. i probably only spent 15 min on the 2 & that's including the search for the images. i had to tell  myself that it's ok. i'm happy i picked up that pencil and worked in my studio! i think if i just draw something, anything, anytime, anywhere, it may spark something and i will discover that i want to draw more of it, whatever "it" is. i won't ever discover what "it" is if i don't start somewhere, right?

just walking around the neighborhood

i took baxter for a walk this evening. i noticed his shadow and thought "wow, looks like a great dane".

maybe it's just my imagination :) i do love great danes!

the sky had an interesting look. i tried to capture it on film but it didn't really show off the beautiful blue in the clouds. i could see a glimpse of the baseball field lights so maybe there's a game tonight which means they might have fireworks later. yesterday as i was reading and then while cooking dinner i could listen to the live band playing around the corner. i do love my neighborhood. life is good :)

who ever knew making a pair of pajama pants was so difficult?

if you did know, someone should have told me :)
i found a do it yourself drawstring pants project on martha stewart's website
http://www.marthastewart.com/268829/drawstring-pants-how-to


seemed easy enough. i printed out the template and had to put it together with scotch tape. i cut a "front" and "back" piece and realized that something didn't seem right. the instructions were so confusing to me. i think i might be a dingbat when it comes to sewing. maybe there is just basic stuff you are suppose to know before using a sewing machine or using patterns/templates and i haven't found that lesson yet.

for me, i need more specific instructions. tell me how many pieces to cut. tell me what side to put the template on before i cut it. show me pictures of each step. i don't know, i was so confused. i couldn't follow the instructions. i took my 4 pieces of material and put it together the way i could. i thought of it like a puzzle.

look at the finished piece, do you see a problem? well, all of my pieces were cut the same way. i had to turn 2 pieces the wrong way to make it fit. plus, i couldn't figure out which was the front or back piece anymore. and then i accidentally sewed the crotch area on the wrong side so the middle looked like it was inside out. when i took it apart, the material is so thin and cheap, it ripped in some areas. i kept thinking to myself "i can't believe i'm having fun doing this". oh and geez, you should have seen me when i realized i didn't have holes for my drawstring to come through.

maybe i shouldn't have thrown away the template. i need to try this again the "right way". i went to the website just to see it again. i found a video for it but it wasn't very specific either. i'll figure it out :) i'm going to do some research on youtube before i do another sewing project.

putting the pattern together

final pattern pieces

fabric cut, but something doesn't seem right

something is definitely wrong but i did it!

at least it's wearable :) 

tried again and...

what a challenge! i picked something "easy". a simple card wallet. i did learn something about myself, i don't follow instructions well! this is ironic because when i cook by a recipe, i always follow it exactly the way it's written. one problem i had, i did not source the blog i found this project on so when it said to copy the template for folding and placing the velcro, well, i didn't have it available. i tried to find the blog but no such luck. so i improvised. i only had industrial velcro available and it has a tacky backing to stick it wherever you need. i tried to sew it in place and ruined my sewing machine needle! oh the shenanigans of sewing :)

my first sewing project

i was given this sewing machine from someone who didn't need it anymore. i decided to do something "easy" for my first project. coasters! it was a bit challenging at first. i was doing a lot of talking to myself, something i don't normally do. but i got through it and voila! i made 2 coasters. kudos to all who know how to work a sewing machine! i see how practice makes perfect :) i really want to make my own apron. another friend gave me a book of easy sewing projects, which is where i got the coasters idea. the apron i want to make is in this book.  i think i better practice making a few more coasters if i want the apron to look good. i now understand the importance of precision in cutting fabric too. i skipped the step where it told me to use a fabric marker and ruler before cutting. i also now understand the importance of following instructions carefully :) even through all the frustration, i really had a lot of fun doing this. the best part was that moment when "aha" happened & i suddenly figured it out. then another "aha" happened when i figured out the next problem. and then that big "oh, ok" when i really realized that i figured out what i was doing. i can't wait to try this again & discover a few more of those "aha" moments.

goals for may

i've had a few days off from work and actually did a lot. i've had a list of "to dos" for months now and i just got most of that list done! one of those things to do was to make thank you cards and mail them. i always have fun making cards. and i love using all of the stuff i already have.

i've also been doing a lot of thinking. so for the month of may i decided on a few goals:
1. do a drawing a day (i need to fill up my sketchbooks)
2. no eating out (i will save a lot of money)
3. walk or ride my bike at least once a day (bike ride as soon as i put air in my tires)
4. finish reading the hunger games (a friend asked me to read it then i guess we'll go see the movie)
5. absolutely no more than 1 soda a day (drink water instead)

i think it can be done. no, i know it can be done. so let's see. today, i haven't done a drawing yet but i will as soon as i get off of the computer :) i did not eat out today and i only drank one glass of cherry coke. i took a nap instead of a walk and as soon as i'm done with my drawing i will read until i fall asleep.

final painting portfolio

my first painting for the class. it made it into the student exhibition. the assignment was simply direct observation.

this was the most difficult painting i have ever done! the assignment was to do something with a skewed perspective.

this is my narrative piece. baxter like a lot of dogs loves to go bye-bye. where we're going, he doesn't care.

so i'm done with this semester. i have a summer to draw, paint, create, read, explore, whatever i want to do. i'm excited :) i really want to take a photography workshop so i can take better photos of my work, well just to be able to take better photos!

frustration?

i'm frustrated because i cannot express emotion through my art? no, i'm really not even frustrated. are all artists suppose to be able to express emotionally through their art? i don't know how to paint what i feel. maybe i don't feel anything. maybe my personality is too calm and laid back. i worked very hard in the last few years to let go of a lot of negative energy. maybe the next time i feel anger or rage, i will go straight to the canvas and see what happens.

the painting on my last post was an example of me going "wild and crazy". the more i look at it, the more i hate it. so i thought i'd try it again. this time with my familiar oil paint. i thought i could express energy and grace at the same time. well, someone just told me to take both paintings, lay them on the floor and then splatter black and white paint all over them. that might be a good idea :)

even tho i don't feel i've created very successful pieces, i do feel i've accomplished quite a bit. in two nights i tried something new and different. i let go of the need to be perfect, that perfectionist in me won't even try new things in fear of messing up, in fear of wasting, and so i usually don't do anything at all. does that make any sense? and i actually spent time painting! that in itself is an accomplishment!

i have a hard time drawing or painting from imagination. i painted tonight without a photograph or any other source. i say i don't know how to create from imagination. i realized tonight that maybe i do know how i just won't let myself.  in addition to my perfectionist tendencies, my insecurity and inner critic tells me my imagination is too childlike and my skill level is not good enough to handle such make believe imagery. so i've taken the first step and tried. now i need to try again and again and get as much practice in as i can. it is kind of funny when i think about what i had in mind and then look at what i actually put on the canvas :)

a hot mess

just trying something new. acrylics and palette knives. i wanted something bright and energetic. i started applying the paint and took a twisting motion for each color. i realized it looked like a chromosome which provoked me to think of life and creation. as i continued on, i thought of color and the emotions evoked by each:
yellow: sunshine, summer, bright, happiness, optimism;
blue: cold, winter, peace;
orange: enthusiasm, cheerfulness, energy;
purple: royalty, magic, imagination;
red: passion, danger, love, anger, speed.

so when i finished with this "experiment" i tried to make sense of it all. it was created intuitively but i wanted to keep in mind the compositional elements and principles. i have mixed feelings about it, whether i like it or not. i couldn't help but make it into a form of self portrait. my life is a hot mess right now. the yellow at the top being my destination, a place of happiness and brightness. the twists and turns in the middle representing areas of need such as finding peace, energy, and imagination through the stress of my current life. and then the red, the large wave of passion always waiting to take over and as it waits it gets angrier and angrier.

it could also just be me and my girls hanging out at the beach on a hot sunny day :)
i love art!

final drawing presentation

this class is done. i can honestly say i have learned a lot. my confidence is better. this may sound silly, but i looked at my portfolio today and thought "i do know how to draw". i may not be at the skill level i'd like to see but i need practice. lots of practice. something i do take for granted. so here's a look at what i turned in. i think i missed taking pics of a few pieces. i do know i passed the class :)