what am i doing?

i mourn the loss of another month gone by so quickly. fall is almost here. i love the fall. fall has always been my favorite season. i am very fortunate to live in an area that still experiences all four seasons. i signed up for 14 credit hours this semester so that i can graduate with my bachelor's degree in december! i am still working full time too. thankfully my job allows me to work 30 hours and still be in a full time status. my girls will have to learn to fend for themselves, oh the horror!!! *sarcasm* he he he *evil laugh*

i do know what i'm doing. i will get this degree, spend the next year working on a portfolio and then apply to go to grad school in san francisco to earn a master's in fine arts. a dream come true! that's my new plan.

i've always dreamed of moving to san francisco. so maybe my opportunity will be here soon. the hubby decided to leave, again, this time i've made up my mind not to even think of taking him back. maybe i'm running away mentally by keeping my schedule so full i don't have time to think of anything else. (i am a major analyzer by the way). so anyway, my girls will be moving on to college in 2 and 4 years...so it will just be baxter and me! i can start the program online and once the girls have moved on, i can get to the west coast. i haven't decided if i will drive the distance and make it an awesome journey or if i will take a few months and live in paris, france and leave there speaking french fluently (another dream to come true). maybe i will do both. finances will be an issue but i'll worry about that minor detail later.

i feel a lot of optimism about the changes i am going through and will continue to go through. i'm not scared. it's what's meant to be, right? i prayed and prayed for changes. i didn't get exactly what i hoped for but i was definetly forced to change! this past year has been a very interesting year. i think i've even developed that back bone i've been missing all my life!!! it's a small one but i think it is still growing.

no more talking about what i want...now it's time to get what i want. to do what i need. hopefully i will be able to come up for air every once in a while and say hello. send me prayers and good luck wishes. :)