Tuesday, June 8, 2010

what in the world?

this has been a week of "what in the worlds". the hubby decided he wanted to come home after a 3 week separation (what in the world?). actually, it was a modified separation. he didn't go far & he still came over to cut the grass, etc. people are really strange sometimes. i know i'm strange, always have been & always will be! at least i know it & not in denial about it! :P

for as long as i can remember, i've never wanted to be like anyone else. i don't want to wear the same clothes everyone else is wearing. i don't want to be "in style". i'm motivated to prove people wrong. with my first child, i was told i ruined my life. when i got married there was gossip that it wouldn't last. when i went to nursing school, i was laughed at, people thought i was too timid, that i couldn't handle it, that i was too stuck up, etc. well...(what in the world?) i was determined to prove all of them wrong. i finished high school & graduated college. out of my LPN class, most of my classmates were working in doctor's offices. the ones who worked in the hospital only did it for a very short period of time. those are the ones who expected i would end up in an office & not be a "real" nurse. i ended up becoming a critical care nurse & was determined to prove that i could handle anything! so with the marriage, i really don't want to join the statistical divorce rates, etc. (what in the world?)

so why can't i apply that motivation to my art? who told me artists can't make a decent living? who told me i wasn't good enough? who told me i didn't have what it takes to make it in the art world? well...maybe that's the problem. no one ever told me those things. i think i told them to myself. again, i'm motivated to prove other people wrong. what in the world? i am definitely my worst critic!

these days have gone by so quickly. i had every intention to paint something small, like an apple. i even bought some small canvases. i haven't even done a bento box lately. i worked a 5 day stretch, had yesterday off but yesterday, what in the world. what happened to yesterday? i am off tomorrow. yes! i plan to make the most out of my day. i did get a new desk, i put it in my studio. i cleaned my studio up a bit to make room for it. i think my studio is my favorite room in the house. it was originally the dining room. now it's my room! i took that room about 3 or 4 years ago. don't you think it's time i put it to use? hopefully i'll spend some time in there tomorrow & have a beautiful creation to share with everyone. i wanted to do this blog to make myself have some accountability & get me motivated to do something creative on a daily basis. maybe i should be making promises. maybe i should promise to paint a picture to share on june 9th with my readers...whoever you are :)

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