homage to grandma quinn

so i felt like baking today.

every christmas my grandmother would bake cookies. my brother and i decorated the sugar cookies but my favorite were her molasses cookies. unfortunately, i don't have her recipe. yesterday would have been her 93rd birthday.

i found this recipe on a blog i like to read every now and then. the recipe is for ginger molasses cookies. not like grandma's but they turned out yummy.

www.brunchwithdarling.com

i also baked some chewy oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and made a batch of chocolate fudge. yum yum :)

a thoughtful christmas gift

a friend surprised me with this gift. she found this journal called "smash journal". i never heard of it before. she also included these neat stickies to go with it. she handmade the card and the paper ornament. i think she heard me say i wanted all my ornaments to be handmade next year. she also gave me a moleskin journal. i've always wanted them but too cheap to buy them i guess. she even decorated the cover for me. pretty awesome if you ask me :) thanks ashley!

o christmas tree, o christmas tree

it's our little charlie brown tree. funny how i can't get the ornaments to turn and face me. most of the snowmen are looking the other way! they must be shy :) i love having a living tree in my home. i'm just happy baxter hasn't cocked his leg up to it to do what he does best :) maybe next year i will start a tradition of only having hand made ornaments on our tree. hey, i think that's a great idea. so this christmas day we will each make our first handmade ornament. i've also been wanting to make my own christmas cards to send out as well. i need to hurry up, i don't have much time left! oh, and by the way, that book on the window sill was a gift from a friend/co worker who told me before that i reminded her of the story "if you give a mouse a cookie" so this book is "if you take a mouse to the movies". i'm not like that at all...really :)

more happiness :)

tonight's dinner!

a very good friend surprised me at work one afternoon with this tray. she heard me say once that i wish i had one & she got it! she had the tray set up with a sloppy joe, tater tots, corn kernels, chocolate milk, juice box, banana, and a chocolate chip cookie! it was amazing!

so i use this tray often. it brings me much joy. not only do i have fun placing items in it then eating out of it but i love reliving the memory of the surprise my good friend presented me that day. it doesn't take much to make me happy :) so tonight i made spaghetti, roasted broccoli (with panko, garlic and parmesan), garlic texas toast, then i added a slice of left over pumpkin pie, and a cup of milk. one thing i love about a plate of food...seeing a colorful arrangement.

100 things that make me happy

my daughter convinced me to do this. so here's my list (in random order):

1. surprises just for me :)
2. creating/being creative
3. driving with my top down
4. days off from my job
5. giraffes
6. getting something for free or an unexpected discount
7. finding money on the street
8. cooking, baking, creating delicious meals
9. cooking with gas
10. baxter
11. ice you get from sonic or cookout (the ice that's almost like crushed ice)
12. ice cold pepsi
13. creme brulee with whipped cream and sliced strawberries
14. lump crab meat
15. polite children
16. cheerful service workers like waiters who act like they love their job
17. hummingbirds
18. pets with personality
19. honest people who choose to be happy
20. my apartment
21. my neighborhood
22. puppies
23. taking art classes
24. hershey's chocolate
25. traveling
26. hotel room service
27. painting
28. drawing
29. watching cartoons
30. making my own greeting cards
31. murder, she wrote
32. doing laundry
33. relaxing after i cleaned house
34. cherry coke
35. art supply stores
36. art festivals
37. getting mail from the mailman
38. thunderstorms
39. naps during a thunderstorm
40. grilled foods
41. posting on my blog
42. t shirts
43. pair of good fitting jeans
44. comfy shoes that can be worn with almost anything
45. garfield
46. completing "to do" lists
47. jewel songs
48. bread and honey butter
49. butterfly gardens
50. art museums
51. touring historical homes
52. deidre being silly and happy
53. books
54. composition notebooks
55. ink pens
56. giving gifts
57. making the sweet tea at work that everyone loves
58. sending packages of goodies out to people
59. teaching or helping others
60. buttercream icing
61. post cards
62. feeling inspired
63. feeling productive
64. being grateful
65. macaroni and cheese
66. good morning/good night phone call from someone i love
67. getting out of bed early
68. sleeping in late
69. staying up late
70. cooking with shavelle
71. paying off debt
72. not using credit cards anymore
73. pizza
74. french fries
75. asjah's smile
76. eating a delicious meal
77. people with a sense of humor
78. boston terriers
79. tote bags
80. calico critters
81. people with positive attitudes
82. uncle dave's kettle corn at williamsburg va outlet mall
83. sunshine
84. bento boxes
85. free food
86. daisies
87. hot krispy kreme donuts
88. watching the movie "you've got mail"
89. love stories
90. meeting people who are living the way they want & pursuing their passion
91. disney and pixar movies
92. hallmark movies
93. o'doodle doo's donuts---red velvet with cream cheese frosting center
94. not caring about what time it is
95. laughter
96. fall season
97. inspiring quotes
98. being understood
99. when alecia is happy
100. reading a book that is so good i finish it within a few days

humument

tom phillips created the humument http://humument.com/

this was a fun assignment from my creative writing class. we had to create our own humument. i was only suppose to do one but once i started i couldn't stop :)  you are suppose to isolate words off the page of a book to create a poem:

this was the first one i created

it's too late
owl
hooting
dropping her wings
die if you want to
the owl
was gone

this is the book i used

i need to find my niche. tom phillips discovered something unique. what am i going to do? for my digital arts class last night we created a menu brochure for a local restaurant. designing layouts, inserting photos and creating a professional appearance is a lot of fun to me. i really enjoyed doing it. i did something similar in my foundations class many years ago. we actually created a book of the elements and principles of art. we used appleworks then. now i'm learning creative suite. i've always wanted photoshop. so all night i thought of how i would love a full time job where i could play with layouts and create brochures or pages of a magazine. that would be a great day job! are there any of those jobs out there?

studio space

here's a peek at where all the action takes place:


i am sharing these now so consider them the "before". hopefully, within the next few months i will have an "after" to show you. it's crazy how i have a hard time working in there sometimes. i think it's the junk (stuff that doesn't belong in there but i have no where else to put it) and the fact that all of my books and supplies do not have their own place. ikea has perfect bookshelves for this room and i can't wait to go get them. it's a 3 1/2 hour drive, i'm going to have to borrow a pick up truck, and put the shelves together myself. or i can pay $249 for delivery and then put them together by myself but if i do that then i won't get to enjoy a cheap, delicious meatball lunch!

it is definitely a room for inspiration and ideas. i love just going in there and sitting down. it's like when i go to an art supply store, it motivates me just to be in the presence of the art supplies. it is no doubt a feel good room and i am so blessed to have this space and call it my own!

wanna say "been there, done that"

1. vacation in each of the united states at least once
(so far i've only been to virginia-most of the state; texas-born there & been to san antonio; florida-orlando only; nevada-las vegas; new york-manhatten; north carolina-asheville, boone, the outer banks; delaware-dover; new jersey-atlantic city; massachusettes-boston; indiana-indianapolis; pennsylvania-pittsburgh; georgia-atlanta; maryland-baltimore. i have a long way to go, huh? oh, and connecticut, that was the worst trip ever, i don't want to claim it)
2. live in france and learn to speak french fluently
3. write legibly with both hands
4. master eating with chopsticks
5. read at least one book per month
6. watch every movie that won an oscar
7. run (not walk) in a marathon
8. visit disney world during christmas time
9. write a book and publish it
10. own a gourmet kitchen
11. learn to dance
12. learn to sing
13. paint a portrait of someone famous (commissioned of course)
14. fly kites at mount trashmore
15. be completely debt free
16. see a wimbledon match in england
17. ride in a hot air balloon
18. learn to say "hello" in at least 50 different languages
19. learn to say "thank you" in at least 50 different languages
20. go to an olympics ceremony
21. play the cello
22. eat lunch in central park, new york
23. learn to meditate
24. visit a ranch & go horseback riding
25. vacation at a ski resort
26. start my own business
27. tour hawaii in a helicopter
28. go bird watching
29. take residence in an artist retreat
30. volunteer for a good cause
31. own a cafe
32. visit a nude beach
33. finish art school
34. work as a waitress
35. become a professional artist
36. take that scenic drive on the pacific coast (i forget the area)
37. work as a teacher
38. learn how to swim

cooking dinner

just wanted to make something quick and easy. i ended up doing a stir fry. i love a colorful plate. the rice is cooking in the cooker! can't have stir fry without rice! there's just something about cooking with fresh ingredients. chopping and cutting makes it feel even more special. again, like anything i create, it's the process i enjoy. it's always fun to cook too. cooking on a gas cook top is the best.

sugar snap peas, sliced carrots, sliced zucchini, sliced onions, broccoli florets, minced garlic. i cheated and used a bottled sauce. it's still good. why try and reinvent the wheel? i wish i had a red bell pepper for added flavor and color.

the finished plate. hot steamy rice. chicken and lots of veggies.

dessert! again something quick and simple. i don't know why i was craving chocolate pudding with cool whip on top. if i wanted to be fancier i would have added chocolate shavings on top. it was fun putting the cool whip into a zip loc bag and cutting out a corner, i squeezed it into the glass pretending to be a pastry chef :)

what is wrong with me?

for creative writing, we had to memorize a poem and recite it in class today. i know the poem i chose. it's memorized! so why in the world did i get so nervous and keep messing up? i use to be very shy. i use to hate speaking in front of people. use to! i really don't know what happened to me today. i feel so silly about it too. i speak out in class all the time with my opinions and answers to questions. geez!

anyway, here is the lovely poem i found and memorized:

The Rider
Naomi Shihab Nye

A boy told me
if he roller-skated fast enough
his loneliness couldn’t catch up to him,

the best reason I ever heard
for trying to be a champion.

What I wonder tonight
pedaling hard down King William Street
is if it translates to bicycles.

A victory! To leave your loneliness
panting behind you on some street corner
while you float free into a cloud of sudden azaleas,
pink petals that have never felt loneliness,
no matter how slowly they fell.

thank you cards from the greedy lil pigs

it's been on my "to do" list for about 3 to 4 months now. i've been wanting to make 2 thank you cards all summer long. a friend of mine is in culinary school and she would donate her practice chops (carrots, celery, etc) and a doctor i work with had a garden and she would donate her carrot tops, excess lettuce, etc. to our greedy lil pigs, as i call them. lilly and dandelion (but i call her baby, because she is lilly's baby). so here are the thank you cards from our guinea pigs. i placed a picture of them inside so they knew who it was from :)

i do find i am attracted to the more simpler cards. i like clean lines and simple shapes. not too many accessories i guess. i am the same way with the way i dress. i am a girl who does not usually accessorize. there's a blog i started following, these are some jazzy elder ladies. i absolutely love their style. now these girls accessorize but they look like they have the money to do so. that's one of my problems, i do have expensive taste and if i can't have what i really want i don't waste the money buying something else. crazy, huh? plus i never wanted to attract any attention to myself. anyway, i saw this blog for the first time and said to myself "that's me when i grow up". i love it. so here's the site if anyone is interested:
http://advancedstyle.blogspot.com/

plain & simple

i use to make my own greeting cards but since i've moved, downsizing from a house to an apartment, all of my crafting/ cardmaking/scrapbooking/etc. stuff have been packed away in a box. i do have a room designated as my studio i just haven't gotton it all organized yet. so i wanted to make a quick birthday card for someone and the night i wanted to make the card, a friend of mine surprised me with dinner. so of course, i had to make her a thank you card. i love, love, love surprises and that dinner was a beautiful surprise!

these cards are really pretty plain and simple. it's the process i truly love. the process of creating and putting something together and then being able to marvel at the finished product. it could be making a card, cooking a delicious meal, cleaning my kitchen, writing a poem, drawing or painting, anything i guess that started with a "before" and ends with an "after".

i want to use up the stuff i already have. i found myself at michaels today browsing papers, stickers, embellishments, adhesive materials, blades and cutters, the martha stewart line, and of course pens and markers. all things i already have (except martha stewart) so there's no excuse. i'm on a new budget as a single parent now. i use to buy those things so randomly. no more retail therapy for me! i have the materials and tools, i just need the motivation.

making candles!

thanks to my friend ashley http://begincrafting.com/
we made some awesome candles. i haven't burned one yet so i have no idea how it smells. i kinda made my own formulation of scents. sage & citrus, lavender, rain, and i think it was linen or clean. i can't remember. i just mixed them all. we mixed the wax with crayons for the color. we used a soy based wax. it was really fun. ashley made the lovely tag, her husband handmade the button she used. thank you ashley! a friend wanted to buy it from me, i told her i would get back to her with a price but i decided i'm going to just give it to her. it's fun to make things, create things, then share them with people i love. i sold a painting to a friend once and i feel terrible about it. she sent the painting to be framed so i haven't seen it hanging on her wall yet. i'm afraid when i do i am going to feel so much guilt! so how in the world am i ever going to make a living as an artist like this?

i'm playing hooky tonight from my graphic arts class. i seem to be suffering with migraines, specifically cluster headaches as i was told. not sure if it's from the weather, if it's hormonal, stress, i don't know. just like the recent atlas syndrome diagnosis, i just need to hurry up and get myself together! i know it's career related. certain events occurred in january and my body seems to have responded in a negative way. it all started with a stiff neck that hasn't gone away yet. a very good friend told me i am the lion who is lying on a nail, i'm crying in pain, i'm suffering and all i have to do is get up off the nail. those weren't her exact words but it went something like that (thanks chris). what's my mental malfunction? what is keeping me from making that move?

angela's future

i am changing my last name. it's random but it's necessary. i am no longer the married name i have and i am definitely not who i was with my maiden name. and since i don't plan on getting re married anytime soon, i am going to concentrate on re inventing myself. is that a cliche? i should say, discovering myself. maybe that's another cliche. i know what's in my heart. i try to ignore it because life, responsibilities, blah blah blah, all get in the way. i have nothing else to do, so why not do what i really want to do? i've recently been diagnosed with the "atlas syndrome". not good. it's the alarm clock going off and this time i am not hitting the snooze button!

baxter isn't the weight of the world. it's just funny how he hangs on. this is what the korean's call uhboohbah. my mom even sewed together this fancy uhboohbah blanket to wrap my baby to her upper body. i wonder what she did with it? it was pretty awesome. she carried all of my girls around like that. hands free, baby cuddled and warm, close to the body without straps and contraptions. ok, so unrelated but the thought was provoked in my complicated mind and i had to go with it :)





so here's my 5 year forecast:
**out of debt
**practicing mindfulness
**working as a full time artist
**living with gratitude
**possibly relocated in another city,state,country (preferably san francisco)
**oh and 15 pounds smaller, only 15

that's do able, right?

i'm back

so it's been a while since i've posted. i'm sure all bloggers go through a dry season right? i've been quite busy these days, not just physically but mentally. i'm actually mentally exhausted. so i had to do something about it. i got myself back in school. don't judge me. i love being in a learning environment. right now i'm taking fundamentals of digital art and creative writing. creating a blog was a requirement for the digital arts class, you can take a peek here:
http://angelabee2be.wordpress.com/


i am really learning a lot in that creative writing class. the number one lesson thus far? my writing sucks! :) i'm actually growing a better appreciation of literature and poetry. i had fun over the last year playing around with poetry. but it always sounded a bit immature i guess. we had an assignment to do for class today, it's poetry in landscape. my piece was voted the best one in the class! yippee! baxter was my star, he is so awesome! so with poetry in landscape, we had to use a noun or verb as a descriptive word (avoid using adjectives). my word was adventure. look at my baxter, just ready to go. doesn't have a clue where he is going and doesn't care. his life is so good. he's such a lucky boy.

well here is one of the poems i've written last year:

insecurity
insecurity is an ugly and dreadful beast
as it imprisons your heart and uses your joys to feast
it's sole purpose is to create misery
and force the one you love to leave you bitterly
your faith in God will be taken away
as your thoughts are consumed and led astray
oh, where are you my knight in shining armor?
i constantly dream of you as i slumber
til the day comes when you defeat this demon
i will await for you in our garden of eden

it's corny, i know. one thing i've learned about myself in the recent years is that i am corny, i am a nerd, i am ok :)

possibly my "aha" moment

i know it's been awhile. i've been too busy (that's my excuse) to create. a few more weeks and i will be done with school, this time :) i can't believe it's almost over.

a lot has happened! so many self discoveries, new understandings, revival of some old habits, new emotions, new attitudes...a true sense of faith & peace...even moments of pure happiness, uncontrollable smiling, lots of real laughter, ultimate gratitude, & true joys of little things in life! i've also experienced some recent heartache along the way. as painful as the heartache is, it is well appreciated as i know it was meant to be. i strongly believe all things happen for a reason!

i can say that i have learned to love. it's been a challenge & a difficult struggle but i think i can finally say that i love myself :) i finally accept myself...the woman i am, the one i've been created to be. it may sound corny, cliche, whatever the synonym but i have learned a lot about myself in the last few months. i'm still in the process of learning. i'm still in a few "situations" that are not over yet. i have also been working hard on making sure the people i love know how much they mean to me...another struggle of mine, but i'm working on it.

i realized that following & listening to my heart has never done me wrong. my mind gets in the way with all of it's expectations, criticisms, & assumptions!!! my mind is what keeps me from my art & creativity. my mind is what keeps me from enjoying life! so sad but true! maybe this is my "aha" moment??? this is where my life changes forever!

what am i doing?

i mourn the loss of another month gone by so quickly. fall is almost here. i love the fall. fall has always been my favorite season. i am very fortunate to live in an area that still experiences all four seasons. i signed up for 14 credit hours this semester so that i can graduate with my bachelor's degree in december! i am still working full time too. thankfully my job allows me to work 30 hours and still be in a full time status. my girls will have to learn to fend for themselves, oh the horror!!! *sarcasm* he he he *evil laugh*

i do know what i'm doing. i will get this degree, spend the next year working on a portfolio and then apply to go to grad school in san francisco to earn a master's in fine arts. a dream come true! that's my new plan.

i've always dreamed of moving to san francisco. so maybe my opportunity will be here soon. the hubby decided to leave, again, this time i've made up my mind not to even think of taking him back. maybe i'm running away mentally by keeping my schedule so full i don't have time to think of anything else. (i am a major analyzer by the way). so anyway, my girls will be moving on to college in 2 and 4 years...so it will just be baxter and me! i can start the program online and once the girls have moved on, i can get to the west coast. i haven't decided if i will drive the distance and make it an awesome journey or if i will take a few months and live in paris, france and leave there speaking french fluently (another dream to come true). maybe i will do both. finances will be an issue but i'll worry about that minor detail later.

i feel a lot of optimism about the changes i am going through and will continue to go through. i'm not scared. it's what's meant to be, right? i prayed and prayed for changes. i didn't get exactly what i hoped for but i was definetly forced to change! this past year has been a very interesting year. i think i've even developed that back bone i've been missing all my life!!! it's a small one but i think it is still growing.

no more talking about what i want...now it's time to get what i want. to do what i need. hopefully i will be able to come up for air every once in a while and say hello. send me prayers and good luck wishes. :)

i think i forgot how to paint

this is the photo reference for my painting of baxter. poor baxter. i made him look so sad. i did the drawing outline on the canvas in a ultramarine blue and that blue got into everything! what was i thinking? it was so frustrating! and, i probably should have started with something easier, monochromatic maybe. trying to put value in black and white is difficult. i should have taken the actual black and white colors off of my palette. i only worked on it for an hour. i am quite proud of the progress i was making. i guess the more i work on it, the better it gets. i'm learning along the way. i am afraid that if i work on it too much, the colors will turn into mud. now i need to figure out how to make baxter not look so sad. i also need to figure out how to make that shadow on the side not look like it's some kind of attachment to his neck. we'll see what happens.

i started reading a book today about creativity and the message i got so far was how it's all about the process and not the finished product and memories were coming back to me. i procrastinated but i picked up the charcoal and the canvas and once i started i couldn't stop. i ended up using so many brushes because that stoopid blue kept getting into every color i used! i will never do that again! i'm just really happy i actually did something! this is how i would like everyday to be. if only i could stay motivated. me and my bad habits... procrastination and excuse making!!! oh and all the "should of's" i'm repeating tonight! i hate that word...should of or should have. geez!

Well, it's a little after 1am, i guess i'll go read some more of that book. i hear thunder outside too, it's going to be a great night! i love a good thunderstorm! it makes me feel at peace.

favorite art:

some of my favorite artists in random order:

1. andy warhol
2. john singer sargent
3. wayne thiebaud
4. edward hopper
5. frida kahlo
6. vincent van gogh
7. frank lloyd wright
8. mark rothko
9. gregory colbert
10. kathe kollwitz
11. banksy
12. ray richardson

just thinking about their art and their lives inspires me. last week i visited the chrysler museum in norfolk and saturday i took a road trip to d.c. where i did a quick tour of the national portrait gallery and american art museum. (i really went to d.c. to eat at ping pong dim sum) i do miss studying art. it's been a while since i've looked through or read any of the many art books i own. i think i will take a look now, i just might draw something :)

butterflies!

finally made it to a butterfly garden! it was beautiful. i wish there were more butterflies flying around my head, at least that's the expectation i had in my mind...to see hundreds of butterflies flying around like bubbles in the air. it was good tho. another accomplishment to mark off my list. it was so hot too. i didn't know i could sweat so much!

eating with chopsticks...

is not easy! i'm a little embarrassed about it because i am half asian! i grew up with a korean mother who only eats with chopsticks!!! anyway, about a month ago i went to a sushi spot and had lunch. i was alone & figured i'd entertain myself by attempting to eat with chopsticks & i tried it left handed. i am right handed. i giggled through my lunch but when i finished i realized i did pretty good. so tuesday i went to richmond to pick up my oldest daughter & we ate at one of my favorite spots "noodles & co." i ate with my left hand but they have these neat little plastic "helper" pieces that you put on the top of your chopsticks. they are meant for kids but who cares. i needed help!
so simple things make me happy. you may think this is all so silly but i feel like i've accomplished something :) i went to another sushi spot for dinner tonight with the hubby. i tried to use the chopsticks with my right hand & it just didn't feel right. i still need a lot of practice. i'm mad he uses chopsticks like he's an asian! he was showing off when i commented on how good he was with them so i called him mr. miyagi and told him "why don't you go catch a fly with those things". corny i know. i try to be funny :)
i own a dozen or so pairs of chopsticks. i plan to practice more. i want to be able to eat everything with chopsticks!

the end of june

i can't believe it's here already! i feel like screaming "wait a minute...i'm not done yet!".

yesterday's lunch

another bento! i tried to make it an italian themed meal. tortellini with roasted red pepper on toothpicks; caprese salad made of mini mozzarella flowers, sweet cherry tomatoes & basil from my new basil plant outside in my flowerbed; i rolled up slices of pepperoni and salami and cut them into bite size pieces. there's marinara sauce in the little bear container and i added some sesame bread sticks, too. this hello kitty box is my first bento box, a good friend ordered it for me and surprised me with it :) i really enjoy making these bento boxes & i don't know if i've already mentioned this but i think i enjoy it more when i make it for someone else and give it away for the person to enjoy. is that strange?

so june is almost over already. on another post i made a list of goals for the month of june...well, i still have a little time left. i hardly ever got out of bed at 7am. i started reading a new book. i didn't exactly create something daily. and when i tried to take the girls somewhere, they had other plans. oh, and i think i gained 5 pounds instead of losing it. (he he) but, i no longer care to focus on what i didn't do, i will focus on what i accomplished this month. so, i read somewhere that if things on your "to do" list keep staying on that list or back on a new list then maybe they were never very important to get done in the first place. so i need to check my priorities. i keep thinking about art. i keep dreaming about the work i want to do. i go into my studio & turn back around. is it fear? i'm trying to figure it out. ralph marston posted "get yourself interested" on his daily motivator website yesterday. just the first statement says "the way to get good is to get interested. the way to get great is to get downright fascinated & passionate". once i start i can't and don't want to stop, getting started is my problem. too much unnecessary nonsense on my mind. this month has really been an emotional roller coaster.

what in the world?

this has been a week of "what in the worlds". the hubby decided he wanted to come home after a 3 week separation (what in the world?). actually, it was a modified separation. he didn't go far & he still came over to cut the grass, etc. people are really strange sometimes. i know i'm strange, always have been & always will be! at least i know it & not in denial about it! :P

for as long as i can remember, i've never wanted to be like anyone else. i don't want to wear the same clothes everyone else is wearing. i don't want to be "in style". i'm motivated to prove people wrong. with my first child, i was told i ruined my life. when i got married there was gossip that it wouldn't last. when i went to nursing school, i was laughed at, people thought i was too timid, that i couldn't handle it, that i was too stuck up, etc. well...(what in the world?) i was determined to prove all of them wrong. i finished high school & graduated college. out of my LPN class, most of my classmates were working in doctor's offices. the ones who worked in the hospital only did it for a very short period of time. those are the ones who expected i would end up in an office & not be a "real" nurse. i ended up becoming a critical care nurse & was determined to prove that i could handle anything! so with the marriage, i really don't want to join the statistical divorce rates, etc. (what in the world?)

so why can't i apply that motivation to my art? who told me artists can't make a decent living? who told me i wasn't good enough? who told me i didn't have what it takes to make it in the art world? well...maybe that's the problem. no one ever told me those things. i think i told them to myself. again, i'm motivated to prove other people wrong. what in the world? i am definitely my worst critic!

these days have gone by so quickly. i had every intention to paint something small, like an apple. i even bought some small canvases. i haven't even done a bento box lately. i worked a 5 day stretch, had yesterday off but yesterday, what in the world. what happened to yesterday? i am off tomorrow. yes! i plan to make the most out of my day. i did get a new desk, i put it in my studio. i cleaned my studio up a bit to make room for it. i think my studio is my favorite room in the house. it was originally the dining room. now it's my room! i took that room about 3 or 4 years ago. don't you think it's time i put it to use? hopefully i'll spend some time in there tomorrow & have a beautiful creation to share with everyone. i wanted to do this blog to make myself have some accountability & get me motivated to do something creative on a daily basis. maybe i should be making promises. maybe i should promise to paint a picture to share on june 9th with my readers...whoever you are :)

photos in the hall...finally!

it really feels good to accomplish something that was on my list of things to do, especially when it's been on that list for a very long time! i almost gave up too. some of the frames were cheapie ones & were difficult to get them flat to the wall. AND what a terrible idea for someone who is borderline OCD!!! it is going to drive me crazy keeping them straight. it's already bothering me that one frame is down too low & another is up a little too high! it's ok. i'm just really happy i got it done! i downsized it to only 15 frames but i still only have 8 pictures, just need 7 more.

so i got to engage in the creative process today (technically yesterday since it's after midnight now). i laid all the frames out on the floor first and decided what went where. i had to figure out exactly where to put the nails. i really did almost give up. i'm really glad i didn't. that's one thing i know, if i keep working at something it usually turns out pretty good. i'm always disappointed in myself when i do quit or give up on a project because i know i can do better.
ok...so what's next? what else have i procrastinated doing over the years? maybe i'll paint something. i've been wanting to do a portrait of baxter for a long time.